Invest in Wheat

 A test run.

A map of the streetlights in Salford. Highlighted are those used in the route.

A series of sickers, placed around the salford, on lampposts or other stickable surfaces. Each sticker has a more outlandish message: starting with small scale, local, messages and ending with esoteric outbursts.

[...]

This is a random act designed only to make someone see a sticker out of the corner of their eye and just think "What the fuck did that sticker mean... oh is that another one?" If no-one where to see this it wouldn't matter to me. Importantly, i will not be able to see the effects of this project, and this is not the larger goal. Sometimes something weird has to happen to someone and my god-given goal is to make that thing happen, to give someone an experience that they'll tell to someone and that person wont believe them.

Excerpt from my notes (26/01/2023)

Invest in Wheat was me terrorising Jack again.

 At some point I bought some sticker sheets, borrowed a printer and went on a late night walk to do some stickering.

Approx. Wednesday 1:45am.

Authors note: This actually happened, this is an accurate retelling. You can see Jacks dramatized version here.

I examine the garish graffiti lining the walls of the bridge that separates the campus and the streets of Salford. Jack is telling me about his job as a "2nd AD", cigarette in hand. I'm going to "post" something and jacks out for a smoke, it doesn't seem to bother him that I'm posting something at 1:45am.

I say: "huh..." and point. He stops looks at where I’m pointing: a sticker.

"That's so XMDV" I say.

We keep walking.

He's telling me about how he's hopefully going to be "1st AD". It sounds stressful. Something catches my eye and i stop and backtrack a step. He stops too. I point. Another sticker. We're barely past the Family Shopper when we see the next sticker, La Pizza already a distant memory.

"I guess we carry on this way... Ive got something to post anyway" 

It's 2 in the morning.

I very clearly don't have anything to post.

Its a journey now.

He's seen this one without my help and reads it out-loud, bemused:

"Invest in wheat...Will this was definitely you."

I've got to admit, "Invest in wheat" is very me.

This was part of the plan though. I look up at him and smile.

"This is where I leave you."

He looks terrified.

Just past the baptist church, the well lit Cross lane branches into a small dark housing estate via a small dark alleyway.

"Follow the stickers jack" I say. He gestures at me with his middle finger.

"OVER THERE" says the sticker pointing down the alleyway.

The housing estate leads round into a road separating a line of houses and a park as the street lights thin out. Jack told me afterwards that at this point he was muttering "fuck fuck fuck fuck".

"Invest in BONE" said the stickers.

I don't get to see the results of the stickers, see if anyone else has followed them to the finale.

That's not the point. I wont get to see my audience, the kind of people that follow stickers that say things like "SHOW THEM YOUR TEETH".

Other than Jack.

I get to watch him.

I watch and follow closely from the pitch-black sidelines, taking care to move as noisily as possible and resisting the urge to cackle.

I have my own route planned.

You catch people on the straights, on the regular paths with regular lamp-posts. Catch people from multiple streets and funnel them towards your finale.

Use arrows to guide them. Take them somewhere they've never been before, somewhere low-lit and quiet.

The stickers increase in number the further you get.

I get to my hiding spot, a hedge just opposite the place of the last sticker. The final lamp-post is tall, with a large squat square base. The stickers lead you round it, lowering towards the floor.

He follows the stickers round till hes crouching directly in front of me.

The click of my lighter carries in the cool and silent 2am air.

He turns and I'm standing behind him.

"Will what the fuck."

I point to the final sticker on the lamp-post and gently remove it.

"(c) William Greenwood 2023" says the sticker.