Supermax sitcom

Introduction

Fade-in

Black to fade to cheery title sequence into a supermax sitcom world where nothing changes. Such is the life of the evergreen show, The Simpsons, Family Guy, Friends etc etc etc. But where all of NBC's horses and men cant keep Mat LeBlanc lookin' young, the same can't be said for Maggie Simpson (36).

Maybe everything is back to normal in 1 single episode, maybe we loop over 100, plot devices never to be seen again, it doesn't matter. It's a grim world of the status quo, of an eternal Ross Geller. The agents of a world that by definition has to return to how it began.

The first law of thermodynamics

Energy cannot be created or destroyed.

An evergreen show is one that can theoretically last forever, all devices of change are removed, and the show can be elongated as long as practical. Instead of our hero returning from their journey forever changed, they return from their journey and go back to what they were doing before. Then wake up in the morning and do it all again.

Maybe Bart gets fat, maybe Homer eats himself, maybe Peter Griffin becomes a meth dealer, But that narrative debt must be paid. by its very nature we return to equilibrium in time. Maybe it's an episode before everything is back to normal, maybe it takes a season before you give away the surrogate children and pretend it never happened. It doesn't matter.

The second law of thermodynamics

Entropy of an isolated system always increases.

Another call comes in and another advertiser drops out. A graph of the viewing figures of "American Dad" lies on your desk like a dying cat. These worlds are closed, nothing besides them exists, you can hail Mary and throw Lizzo into an episode, but the show is rotten to the core and even she can't help you now.

Entropy increases and you can't stop it, you never could. Maybe you could release them? let them die? but you know you won't, they're just too damn beloved! So the show goes on.

The third law of thermodynamics

At absolute zero, nothing changes.

500 functionality identical episodes, past the point of complete comprehension, and creating more becomes pointless. It is cheaper to syndicate reruns and stream to the masses, freeze in time the world you built to last and in doing so drove into the ground.

Now they're frozen, to be dipped-into at random by the viewing public who can't even remember what your fucking intro looks like anymore but continue to consume and will do forever. Or until the same happens to them.